At the start of 2011, I decided to give up my six year sojourn in the desert of Sedona and head back to Boston. It wasn’t an easy decision. I was scared and indecisive. I felt I had to give up everything I had built and known to step into the unknown; into the wisdom of uncertainty.
No one likes uncertainty. Least of all me. I am a Taurus and I like to know where I’m going, what I’m doing and even what time it will happen. I want to know my bank account is large and there’s a plot of land in my name. I like things certain.
Ok, so even though I am Taurus, I have come to realize that being stubborn is not for my highest good and this wasn’t the first time I was taking a leap of faith and stepping into the unknown.
Usually when I do this, I find a couple of things: First I really don’t have to give up everything. I just have to be willing to. Second, I find something better than I ever could have imagined. Something magical.
I remember how filled with doubt I was at the prospect of coming back to my family. Honestly, weren’t they a big part of the reason I left? I couldn’t find myself standing in the midst of their shadows. I worried that they’d expect certain things from me and that I don’t do things in the accustomed or accepted way. I worried I wouldn’t have the freedom to come and go as I pleased.
I also realized this was an opportunity to show them who I am… what the desert sand and red rock had molded me into. The desert sun had dried up some of my fears and made me stronger. After six years in the desert, I know so much more about myself. I learned who I am, what I want and what I’m capable of.
I spent Jan through March of this year selling and giving away a lot of my furniture, books and possessions. In April I shipped what was left across the country in a truck and headed back in my VW Jetta with a dear friend who was kind enough to fly out and drive back with me and my beloved four-year-old miniature Doberman pinscher.
What I found when I got back here was completely astounding. I had a job within two weeks of arriving. In this economy? Yup. The winter weather has been unseasonably warm and the love and support of my family and friends is amazing.
I have a quiet, comfortable place to live and the blessing of working from home. No one is more shocked than me at how happy I am to be here and how things have fallen into place. When Spirit wants you somewhere, it can sure make things happen in a hurry. Best of all, my family sees who I am and appreciates me. I’ve had a great time hanging out, cooking and celebrating the holidays with them. I am so grateful to be exactly where I am – even though I thought it was the last place on earth I’d ever be! That’s the magic that happens when you step into the wisdom of uncertainty.